*An article I wrote and published in the school's bi-monthly publication.
In 1995, a man named Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., authored a book titled Emotional Intelligence. In the book, Goleman explained that one’s emotional intelligence is what he/she draws upon to properly handle feelings (anxiety, anger, fear), empathize with others (put oneself in someone else’s shoes) and to get along well socially (peacefully resolve problems). Emotional intelligence is built upon the acquisition of key relationship skills needed for success in life. It is not necessarily something we are born with; it is something we must learn and acquire through practice.
Studies have shown that children who have strong emotional intelligences are able to focus, take in new information and draw upon their long-term memories more easily than those children who do not. Simply stated, emotional intelligence is a key component to a child’s academic experience, and is a strong indicator of how well he/she will do in school and ultimately in life.
I am very proud that Undercroft is an authentic Montessori School. We provide children a meticulously prepared learning environment and concrete educational tools that form a life-long foundation in math, language and culture. Our Guides truly understand the developmental stages of children and how to tap into their natural interests that typically occur during key sensitive periods in their lives. Academically, Undercroft is top notch.
What we don’t often celebrate, however, is how our children are ever increasing in their emotional intelligences through conflict resolution skills taught in the Undercroft classrooms. Unlike many adults, our children have been given tools that empower them to independently manage their emotions and resolve conflicts that naturally arise when sharing a classroom with other children...tools that make academic achievement possible.
The next time you visit your child’s classroom, I would encourage you to chat with your Guide about Undercroft’s Peace Curriculum and how your child is growing in his/her emotional intelligence through this very important element of our school. At each level, children engage the concept of peace as it is developmentally appropriate for them. Children in Lower Elementary, for example, use the Peace Rose Ritual as a tool to resolve conflicts with their friends.
For those of you who often ask what you can do to bring Montessori into the home, here’s one way:
Choose a quiet location in the home that can be designated as the peace area. If a small table is available, this is a nice element, but not necessary. Purchase a single silk rose that will be a permanent part of the peace space. Have a conversation with your children about the peace area and instruct them to invite one another, including you, into the peace area whenever something is bothering them. Then follow the steps of The Peace Rose Ritual.
The Peace Rose Ritual
1. The child who is asking for a resolution to a conflict begins by holding the peace rose. He/she says the other child’s name, tells what has happened and how he/she feels about what happened. The other child must listen without speaking.
2. When the first child is finished, the second child holds the peace rose and repeats what the first child says. Then the second child says the first child’s name, tells what has happened and how he/she feels. The first child must listen without speaking.
3. The first child takes the peace rose again and repeats what the second child has said. They continue to talk this way, passing the peace rose back and forth and repeating what they’ve heard until a resolution is found.
4. Once a resolution is reached, both children can shake hands as a sign of peace or both hold the peace rose and say, “We have made peace.”
In all of my school experiences, I have never seen such a ritual practiced. In fact, as an adult, it is rare to find other adults with the ability to resolve conflict as effectively as our children do. Perhaps if we make a choice to go directly to the one with whom we have a conflict and use a similar concept as the Peace Rose Ritual, we may sleep easier at night as our troubles are more quickly resolved.
At Undercroft, we value our families. We know you have a choice when it comes to schools, and we greatly appreciate that you have entrusted your precious children to us.
Kathy Law
Executive Director
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